How To Ruin Valentine’s Day
February 15, 2012
If you’re looking for a sure-fire way to completely flush your romantic Valentine’s Day plans down the toilet, I have just the thing! It’s simple really, just follow these easy steps:
- That free chicken pizza in the office kitchen that looks so tempting? Give in and have a slice. What’s the worst that could happen?
- When you’re in that 3 p.m. brainstorm and you start to get dizzy – ignore it. You’re just being a baby.
- When the office hosts it’s Valentine’s Day dessert potluck, totally indulge in pink champagne and strawberry pie. It’s pink after all and you love pink.
- Rush out the door at 5:30 reminding your colleagues that you absolutely must be home by 6:45 because your husband has something special planned for your first Valentine’s Day as a married couple.
- When you get on Bart, there’s no seats and you’re in heels. It’s ok though, just stay standing and whip out your Kindle to see what will happen to Katniss.
- Fifteen minutes into the ride and you start getting abnormally hot, look around and see if anyone else is sweating as much as you are. They aren’t, so just take your jacket off.
- As the sweat starts to drip down your face and you start to get nauseous, ask some guy if you can have his seat as you aren’t feeling well and watch all of the surrounding Bart passengers stare at you.
- When you feel your lip starting to quiver you realize that it’s coming. You text your husband because you’re not quite sure what to do. Bart is pulling up to the next stop and it’s like a baby – it’s time and you can’t stop it.
- Literally run off of Bart, unable to find a trashcan, see people racing past you, and well, lose your lunch on the empty Bart train tracks. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.
- Start crying. Call your husband. Plead forgiveness as you have ruined Valentine’s Day. Get back on the next train. Spend the rest of the night hugging the porcelain goddess.
Awe – precious, right?
Happy Belated Valentine’s Day!
What no pics to accompany this post? Hah!
Feel better friend <3 you guys will just have to have a V-day re-do!
Oh no! Hope you’re okay!
Oh no! You poor girl! Looks like you’re just going to make your own “Love Day!”
Oh no!!! Hope you’re feeling better today. And don’t worry, this post didn’t make me giggle at ALL. It was very somber.
Obviously I hope you’re well today, but I like how you write things. Come to NYC.
Oh no! You poor thing! And the Sprinkles let-down, too! I hope the plans can be made into a raincheck.
Aww Hope you are feeling better!
O no! That is awful
I hope you’re feeling better soon!
You poor thing!!!
I hope you’re feeling better today! You can always have a V-day redo!
food poisoning is seriously the WORST. I hate that feeling and such a bummer it had to happen to you on valentines day, but I do look forward to the valentines day redo post, becuase I want to know what CF had in store for you!
Oh no!!! feel better soon :/
On the bright side, chicken face agreed to all that “in sickness and in health” stuff. maybe you can celebrate your first mardi gras together instead?!
Ahh!! That is awful. Public puking is never fun. Been there. Hope you are feeling better now!
Oh no! Feel better.
If it makes you feel better, I picked a fight about what the meaning of New Yorker is and then pouted throughout our tradition of going to the clock tower to listen to the chimes. We made up by the end of the night, but still not the best way to spend Valentine’s.
Oh no! Hope you are feeling better now! I hate feeling crappy in a public place!
Oh my goodness! This sounds like an awful night!! I hope you’re feeling better and it was just a mild bout of food poisoning and not a stomach bug!
Ah, boo! No fun at all!
Agh that just stinks! Hope it passed quickly and you get a do over.
oh that sounds terrible!! at least you had the public train tracks and not just the sidewalk? And I’m sure CF took the absolute best care of you when you made it home!
Oh no! Poor you! Hope you are feeling better! Was any of your food bad?
Awww hope you are feeling better
Took me a really long time to figure out what Bart was though. I was thinking you named your bike Bart but then the whole heels and reading wasn’t making much sense.
I maybe kinda sorta only giggled a little when I read this. NOT that I want you to feel like crap, but because I have TOTALLY been there, and know how sucktastic it can be. And you didn’t really ruin V-Day. CF got to be the hero, knight in shining armor! And Lola-puppy was the white horse you came riding in on.. Duh
Hope you are feeling better today!
Oh NO, that’s horrible!!!
I hope you’re feeling better. Yuck yuck yuck.
Super sucky. At least you got off the train first! V-day Take 2!
p.s. I’m almost done with the whole Katniss trilogy thing, too
Oh I’m so sorry you got sick on Valentine’s day! That sounds awful! I was sick too, but not that sick.
hope you feel better today. BUT awesome job riding 50 miles last weekend!!!
So sorry to hear that! My question though- did everyone else at the office get sick from the pizza too???
Hope you’re feeling better today!!!
Page noooooo! Not the chicken pizza!!! was it really food poisoning, not the flu? I’m so sorry. On the bright side, throwing up in public, for whatever reason, is less embarrassing than when you CAN’T STOP it from coming out the other end. See: Bridesmaids.
To commiserate, I was in the office until 8:00 p.m. on V-day, all by lonesome while all the partners rushed home to their wives. Let’s make it up this weekend! I’m going to have a fancy dinner Saturday night, once you’re feeling better you and CF must too! (see how I made a cool abbreviation for your mans name?)
BUMMER!
If it’s any consolation, much grosser things have happened on BART.
I’m so happy to discover a runner blog that isn’t based in NYC! I’m an Oakland girl just starting to run. Maybe later in the year, I’ll see you at a race!